It is so difficult to watch him go through all of these changes – both physically and mentally.
My husband is an extremely intelligent man. He holds multiple college degrees in Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics but in addition to that, he can rebuild any engine, tackle any plumbing, electrical, or mechanical issue anywhere and if it is on a computer, about a computer or for a computer, he can and does do it. Watching him work lately is really hard.
His short term memory is slowly slipping away. Things he used to do routinely, he is forgetting. He now keeps a little note pad in his pocket and writes everything down. The other day, he told me that he couldn’t remember the drive home after we passed the High School (just a few blocks from our house). I tell him something then 20 minutes later, he is pissed off at me because “I” forgot to do/say/check something – even though I told him about it 20 minutes before.
I have always required a strict routine because I am a scatterbrain outside of work but since he has been sick, routine has become hyper necessary in our lives.
He used to be able to solve a rubix cube in about 15 minutes. Now he can’t hold it because he shakes so much.
He used to coach rugby. Now he can’t even walk up the stairs to sit in the stands because of the joint pain.
He used to be full of life. Now he looks sick and drawn. And sad.
I love him so very much and I wish I could just wrap him up in my arms and absorb his pain. He doesn’t deserve this. No one does.