Watching him breaks my heart

This morning, he got up and started his morning routine then when he sat down on the bed to put his socks on like he usually does, he didn’t move on.  He just sat there staring off into space.  I let him sit for a moment then I went and sat next to him and started scratching his back and asked him if he was ok.  For a split second, he looked at me like he didn’t recognize me.  It scared me.  At that very moment, I wanted to fold him up and put him in my pocket to protect him from whatever else is coming.

He had blood drawn two days ago and the results were in this morning.  No change yet.  It has been 8 weeks since his RAI treatment.  He went in for the blood tests because he has been feeling worse lately.  It is so very heart breaking to know he is suffering more than before and his numbers have not changed at all.

He is still keeping a positive face on for everyone else but I know he is tired.  I can see it in his beautiful green eyes.  He is spent.  If I could figure out how to make this all go away, I would trade anything for it.

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