Steroids suck. He is swollen from head to toe and is just miserable. He popped a button off his “fat” pants this week, so we ran out to Target and bought him the next size larger. He normally wears a 32 pant and is now just comfortable in a 38. He looks healthy and great, actually. It isn’t until you look really closely that you see his skin is so stretched over his frame that it looks like it is about to tear. He moves slower and has a slight limp when he walks.
I feel so bad for him and there is absolutely nothing I can do to help him. I hate being so helpless. I have a textbook mom complex. It is in my blood to take care of anyone and everyone I can. I crave it. It’s weird. So, the fact that I can’t help him, is depressing the hell out of me.
No new symptoms have cropped up this week, which is good but not good either. No new symptoms mean no change is happening. If no change is happening then we are not closer to him feeling better. This is so frustrating. I almost wish he could have had surgery instead of RAI so that this would be done with already and he could be adjusting his synthyroid and on his way to feeling better.
We don’t know if he will ever be “normal” again – whatever normal is – and that is scary too. Graves Disease is such a personalized disease, that so far, no two stories we have read have been alike. Does anyone get to live a “normal” life again or are the majority of people destined to live out their lives teetering on the edge of feeling like crap and feeling a little better than crap?
The Universe is testing us. We have been so blessed throughout our lives and I guess we just needed a reality check. This is our test.